Remember this week’s mini-goal?
I set the goal knowing that it was extremely possible that it would lead to guilt over what I am eating. Food journaling had driven me deep into my eating disorder the first (and second) time.
I had hoped I would make it through one day without a struggle though.
Wrong.
Yesterday was miserable.
I journaled my food and caloric intake religiously.
Why am I doing this to myself? I want to know what I am eating. I want to see in black and white where I am lacking and where I need to change.
By my afternoon snack, I was really struggling. My snack didn’t fill me up but I didn’t want to have something else because I knew I’d have to write it down and add the calories in.
I had something else because the point of this week is to find a baseline for my daily. I had a usual dinner despite the voice in my head telling me to restrict getting louder.
By the end of the day, I had way more calories than I ever imagined. I honestly don’t know how I am not 300 pounds with all the calories I took in.
I am going to continue with this mini-goal and take it day-by-day as I think it will yield a lot of important information for me going forward but this will definitely not be a mini-goal that I continue after this week (if I make it through this week).
Do you count calories?
Live for the Long Run 
Keep posting about your food journaling issues. It seems like it helps you to write about it. BUT, you might want to consider a different challenge in the future. Just saying…
And by the way, my OCD tendency is weighing myself. I try to keep it to only once a day, but I’ve been known to go off the deep end and start weighing myself every time I’m in the bathroom. It’s such a wonderful way to keep reminding myself what a loser I am (and by loser, I’m not talking weight-loss). Hang in there.
I hope this is the hardest challenge I create for myself! I knew it would be hard but was definitely not prepared for it to be this hard!
I totally know where you’re coming from with weighing yourself! I definitely did the weighing myself multiple times a day thing. I’m down to once a day now too, but sometimes find myself creeping on the scale when I’m changing or something. Some days I hide the scale. The whole out-of-sight, out-of-mind think seems to help.